Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Random Question/Rant of the Day

Why can't "we" be happy for each other? It's amazing that in my 31 years, I have felt more racism and prejudice from my "own people" than from "them". While in college, it was my black friends who laughed when I said I wanted to become an attorney. In law school, it was mainly the black students who were upset when they found out I had good grades and landed a firm job. It's black people who call me "booji" because I can (gasp) drive a nice car and live in a nice house, instead of choosing to live with my mama and have the nice car. It was my black secretary who disrespected me and treated me as if I was inferior and mistakenly given a law degree and bar membership. WHY? I just don't get it. Why is it ok for "them" to have educations, large bank accounts, nice homes, and goals/ambitions BUT when "we" want and earn these same things, we're trying to "act white" or we're not "black" enough. My husband's cousin sarcastically refers to us as the "Huxtables" as if that's a bad thing. I just don't get it. I am proud when I hear that one of us is a doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur. Travel Diva's brother attends an Ivy League college and I told everyone as if he was my sibling. I was so proud. I just don't get it. It's the 21st century and we still have the old slavery mentality. The reason for my rant is because my ex-secretary who I finally dropped after 7 excruciating months together is still obsessed with me. It's like it angers her that a black woman from Bmore could actually be an attorney. Every day I hear about some stupid comment she has made about me. She doesn't like me because I actually wanted her to .....gasp....treat me with the same respect as she gives to the white partner who walks around telling everyone she's "stupid". She can smile in her face and kiss her-ss because she's supposed to get respect BUT for me, she recently questioned the "ranking" of my law school and was "surprised" that the manager of the litigation department exclusively provides me with his work. WTF???? I don't care about her because she's just a disgruntled middle-aged woman who's just hatin' BUT what I do care about is that there are millions like her. Now, I have to tell/teach my kids that they will likely face prejudice by not only "them" but "us" too. That's just sad. Very, Very sad.


TravelDiva said...

That fool is still talking about you? What a joker. If I had known that I would have nominated her for Joker of the Week.

I think it's sad that some black people think that academic and financial success = white. So what, poverty and academic failure or mediocrity = black? That is a loser mentality. I reject it.

People are always going to hate, but it does suck when it comes from someone who looks like you and wants you to fail.

Grown Woman said...

that's what I said!! She hasn't been my assitant since last summer and she's still obsessed.

Elle said...

Ooooh I feel you girl! Preach! It is very sad. All you can do is keeping doing you and brushing them haters off! You reminded me of a conversation I had with a law school classmate (black male) who nonchalantly told me that my alma mater (Spelman) was inferior to his just because it's a black college. Pure ignorance. It's infuriating, esp when it comes from our own.

TILshopgirl said...

I think that's what Obama has been going through (yes, I'm on the Obama tip - OBAMA Oeight)!!! It's very sad. But jealousy and envy are colorblind. All you can do is tell your children there will be people jealous of you even in your own family.

Smarty Jones said...

Stay strong Sista! Unfortunately I think we will have to face that as long as "we" have that "crabs in a bucket" mentality.
Being the first on my mom's side of the family to earn a degree, I had to go through that in my own family and that's worse than some random black person.
Apparently, a lot of black folks can't stand it when some of us, who have degrees in communications, speak standard English.
If your former secretary has a problem with you and your success then it is just that - HER PROBLEM!
The best way to look at it is you've got to be doing something right because you're being doused in 'haterade.'
Shake them haters off and keep on steppin'.

Grown Woman said...

thanks for the support!!

Nadja said...

I thought it was AWFUL when a woman from work called a VERY successful young girl(black) an "Uncle Tom" when she took a promotion. Seriously, wow... gonna have some BAD karma hating people that much.

mikirooy said...

Your ex-secretary won't live long if she keeps holding onto her bitterness. Don't you think the whole "hating" thing goes on a lot between women in general as well? It's awesome that you're in litigation by the way! That's what I want to do, too.

KreativeMix said...

Its sad that we have to hold each other down to mask our own insecurities and shortcomings. You know that you're a smart fabulous black woman and no one can take that away from you. She's doing this because she feels some need to validate her ridiculous, underappreciated existence. It makes no sense that some folks think that if you're a successful black woman you must be robbing some other black person of their destiny. No, you've worked your rass off to get where you are and you better walk the walk and talk the talk and not let anyone piss you uneccessarily. let them save teh drama for their mama. Just do you and be you. Next time she "gossips" about you, just keep your head up and say "yeah ritch and what?? what??" She's not going to give you the respect you deserve (maybe when hell freezes over) so just ignore her and do what you roll in there to do in the morning. She's not signing your pay check or paying your rent. You're right that she reminds one of the law school "buddies" who hate on those who go to the large firms. It's not the first time it has happened and its far from being the last. The higher you get the worse it gets. she's just bitter, insecure and insignificant.

LadyA said...

I so feel you on this topic. Racism from white's doesn't sting nearly as much as racism from blacks.
We as a people are judgemental and don't really celebrate success and progress the way we used to. So sad, so sad.

Still_Pocahontaz said...

Be strong girl, keep ya head up. Your work is not in vain, get that dirt off your shoulders!!!

Red River Interiors said...

Yes you are right ...but the demons we face as a people must die before we can successfully move forward collectively...That generation of haters hate themselves. She can't embrace you because she can't embrace herself....She has:
No dreams. No goals. No successes No workable solutions for success and achievement. We must either choose to believe or die in the desert never to reach the promise land. Isn't that what happened with the children of Israel? Didn't a generation have to die off before a new generation entered a land flowing with mild and honey? It's no different today. I believe a change will come to America when Obama is elected likewise Black America will also have to change. The ones that do not face the risk of becoming irrelevant....That's what the true discussion is about in our community about supporting Obama. The most important truth we must remember and teach our children is to love self...value self. That can't be taken away from you..Fay

shopaphilia said...

I know I just hopped on over to this blog, but I just wanted to add my 2 cents.

I think it's great that you're proud of your accomplishments and it's inspirational that you don't let others take that away from you.

b.karthick kumar said...

too mach...
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