Friday, January 11, 2008

Random Question of the Day

How long should a "couple" date before one of the two has the right to ask the dreaded question "where is this 'thing' going" or "are you seeing anyone else"? One of my friends has been dating this guy for like 3 months and she's going crazy because she wants to know whether they've reached the "boyfriend/girlfriend" status. However, she's afraid that it's just too soon to ask. But, apparently, it's not too soon for them to get their freak on on the regular. But, I digress...
I haven't been single for many years so I'm not sure. But, I would hope that if I felt comfortable enough to sleep with someone on the regular, I would have the "balls" (no pun intended) to ask if they were seeing/sleeping with someone else. However, I've been out of the game for more than a minute. So, I'd like to know what you think--thoughts?


TravelDiva said...

First--LMAO on your digression! HA!

Second - IMO 3 months is sufficient time to say, hey are we exclusive? Especially if you've already slept together. But that's just one chica's opinion.

James Tubman said...

she should tell him whenever she feels like it

but i think she should do some things first

in my post "the #1 problem in relationships" i talk about the fact that you have to limit your access to somebody whenever you feel like you've been disrespected by them

but if your getting too close too fast, it might be a good idea for her to abruptly cut things off for a while (maybe a week or two)

she can make up some reasonable excuse

don't answer his calls for a while

and if he likes you he'll ask you what's wrong and that's the time to tell him that i really want to take things a little further, but i was afraid that you wouldn't want to do the same

would you be my full time man

be truthful and direct

that's probably how i would want to be treated

Abbey said...

I would say, if you are getting your 'freak on' I would say excusivity is from that point..given HIV..

from the point you decide that..then you got g/f status...

and that would come prior to 'bonking' for me ... if I cant talk this stuff to the guy..then we aint ready to do the 'groove thing'

but thats just my

TILshopgirl said...

men know within the first 3 months whether they want to be serious with a woman or not. so if it's been 3 months and he hasn't said anything that's your answer.

Books to read for the single woman:

He's just not that into you - by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Why men love bitches - by Sherry Argov

TILshopgirl said...

I also agree with James Tubman on limiting your access when you feel you've been disrepected. That applies to everyone not just the opposite sex.

James Tubman said...

i love tilshop a whole lot

TILshopgirl said...

As you can see from James Tubman's comment re tilshop - men know very early on!

Sassy said...

If you've already slept together, what's holding you back from asking? If I'm pulling my knickers down for you, that gives me the right to ask that question. Now, If you've made it clear from your actions that my role in your life is limited to "bed-mate," there's no need to ask the question cuz your rass would have been kicked out the door three months ago. If she has to wonder, she needs to let this one go. seriously.