Friday, November 30, 2007

Not Hatin....................Just Sayin............

Today I had a conversation with a male coworker and his girlfriend......... The topic was pregnant celebrities. His girlfriend is 3 months pregnant with their first child and has been plagued with morning sickness, fatigue and all the other non-fabulous unpleasantness associated with pregnancy. Well, he wanted to know why his girlfriend "can't make herself presentable and try to at least look the way Christina looks on the cover of the upcoming Marie Claire magazine." His words, not mine. His girlfriend informed him that Christina and other celebrities usually don't get sick during pregnancy and that's why they look fabulous. I said, "huh????? [insert blank stare (as travel diva would say]!!!! I DISAGREE. I'll give you my version of why normal women don't look like Demi,Britney,Myleen or Christina!!!

First of all, if you look at the above pictures you'll notice that these chicas have protuding bellies. They are not in the first trimester of pregnancy, which is usually the period when most women feel out of sorts, sick and just plain dejected. These women have clearly passed that phase and are now in the "glowing" phase of pregnancy. And of course I use the term glowing loosely. I'll explain why later.

Second, these ladies have a glam patrol. Let's see how they got so fab -
1. Manicurist
2. Pedicurist
3. Hair Stylist
4. Wardrobe Stylist
5. Personal Assistant
6. Makeup Stylist
7. Eyelash curler stylist
8. Tan Stylist - the individual, person or thing that provides that fake glow so vividly displayed in the above pictures
9. Assistants to the stylists mentioned above
10. Good lighting
11. Good camera angles
12. Good posing
13. Fabulous Airbrush consultants
14. Tons and tons of cash!!!
15. Access to Massages, pampering, spas
16. All of the above and tons more that a normal chica like me cannot even fathom.

3. For my colleague, your broke rass cannot afford all the 16 items in #2 that your girlfriend needs to look fashion-cover-ready. Your broke rass needs to stop comparing your wonderful, gorgeous girlfriend to some misplaced fantasy on some magazine cover. This is the same dude who looks at comso, essence and glamour covers and thinks all women should look like halle, tyra, giselle or beyonce. Have you seen these chicas when they wake up in the morning, with the crust in their eyes and dry spit on the side of their mouths? Have you seen these chicas in their first trimester hugging the toilet as they regurgitate their last meal? No you haven't. All you've seen is some airbrushed styled magazine cover touting how beautiful and fabulous it is to be "whatever it is they say they are." Keep it real!! What you see in front of you every morning and next to you in bed at night is the real deal. If your girl had the glam patrol, guess what MFKR.............

guess what??? SHE WON'T BE WITH YOUR RASS!!!!


And look here, Halle, Nicole, Jlo and anyone else carrying a baby or babies, I don't want to see your naked rass on some cover all dolled up looking like the fabulous diva that you probably are. I want to see you on the cover of the magazine keeping it real on behalf of all pregnant women out there. We know that some of you have been looking forward this day for a long time and we have been right there with you, praying, hoping, fasting, some even doing voodoo (you know who you are) so that you can one day enjoy the joy of pregnancy....... So we appreciate and applaud your joy. We celebrate this wonderful blessing, but we want you to know that you're creating some false expectations. That said, I'm not sure I'd buy a magazine with Halle on the cover hugging some toilet bowl, being sick all over the place so I guess..........i'm kind of a little hyprocrite........... but anyway, I digress, you get my drift, right????

And for all those pregnant women out there, we can't wait to see your little precious, wonderful bundles of joys!!!

Stay Fabulous!!!

UK BBC Presenter Myleene Klass, Britney spears, Demi Moore, Christina Aguillera

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Holiday Wish List

Like most, I pray for a solution to world poverty, a cure for cancer, an end to senseless violence, war and terrorism. But there are also some other more basic things that are on my holiday wish list this year. :-)

1. A winning MegaMillions and/or Powerball ticket - Self-explanatory

2. Idris Elba - Lord have mercy. I saw This Christmas last weekend and was positively mesmerized every time he stepped onscreen. Will somebody give this man more movie roles?! He's giving the Rock a serious run for celebrity I wouldn't mind stalking. HA!

3. A trip to Dubai - I would have to stay at the Burj Al Arab, the best hotel in the world allegedly. Each two level suite is equipped with its own butler. Hey, we could all use some time pampered by Geoffrey couldn't we?

4. A Jodeci reunion cd - I had the misfortune of seeing K-Ci and Jo Jo's lackluster, disjointed, Sandman please dance out here and give these jokers the boot performance this past June during the New Edition tour. So I have no desire to see a live Jodeci reunion. HOWEVER, I can't help but think about the greatness that was Diary of a Mad Band or the remixes of Come and Talk to Me or I'm Still Waiting, and long for a studio album.

5. A new Ipod or a cognac leather fendi spy bag.

Given that I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting most of the things on my list, I will most likely have to settle for a new I pod. What's on your holiday wish list this year?

Picture Source - Burj
Picture Source - MegaMillions
Picture Source - Elba

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Let's take a moment

Let's take a moment to grieve the passing of a young black man. The fact that a hard working player was murdered is sad. Now let's take a moment to get angry. It's distressing that whoever did this didn't want the young man to have chance by cutting the phone lines to his house. You can't be in your house with your loved ones without people targeting you. So that angers me. The fact that the national media is not very sympathetic also angers me. An innocent young man was in his house with his loved ones and someone decided to snuff out his life. The national media has to bring to light a prior gun incident and some sport commentator said he wasn't surprised because Taylor lived that life. See

Taylor was a hard working athlete who had a knee injury and was not out running the streets, or doing illegal acts. So being injured and not being able to play the game is not enough stress on you, but now someone has to shoot you, and then blame your "past" as the reason. WTF?? I'm about dang tired that there is hardly any sympathy for a young black man these days in the media. A black man can't be shot without him being connected or involved or it's his past coming to haunt him. My last words - check the comment from Taylor a while back. This was a mature young black man, who unfortunately will not be around to see his child grow up and who knows what he could have accomplished

"I just take this job very seriously," Taylor said in a rare group interview during training camp. "It's almost like, you play a kid's game for a king's ransom. And if you don't take it serious enough, eventually one day you're going to say, 'Oh, I could have done this, I could have done that.'
"So I just say, 'I'm healthy right now, I'm going into my fourth year, and why not do the best that I can?' And that's whatever it is, whether it's eating right or training myself right, whether it's studying harder, whatever I can do to better myself."

Monday, November 26, 2007

Jill Scott and Random "Michael Richards- Kramer-like" Nonsense

The Sydney Morning Herald recently reported a disturbing story about Jill Scott. After she had finished a show and had relaxed and partied with such legends as Stevie Wonder and Prince, she was reminded rather sharply that racism is alive and kicking in America. The Herald reported the following:

Scott said she was "waiting outside for the valet to bring the car round, and these … I say kids, but they must have been 25, looking wealthy, five-o'clock-in-the-morning wasted. And this guy's saying, 'Step back nigger, step back nigger.' He's saying it like it's a song, but there's nobody out there but me. I was taken aback, and I said, 'Excuse me?'

And he said, 'Shut your mouth and don't say a word when a white man is talking.'

"I'm not kidding. I started laughing, and I followed him and his cohorts through the parking lot laughing hysterically, and they became more and more uncomfortable.

It was one of the best moments of outrageous laughter I've had.
"To think for one moment I could possibly fit into that box … I am so far from that word that it is funny. They looked so uncomfortable; I wanted to emasculate him, to make sure he was getting no nookie that night. The girls sobered up and were looking scared. It was something else - the first time in my life I've been called that. Wow. But I enjoyed it. You must fight back; it's imperative. I like the fight in me now."

Has Jim Crow been reinstated or something? Did I not get the memo that Plessy vs. Ferguson is now good law? Nooses, slurs, unfair disturbing.
Picture Source: Jill Scott


Congrats to Michael Jordan, Dr. Jan Adams, Charles Tucker, Jr. and Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, who (in a CITC first) all received an equal number of votes and were crowned Jokers of the Week last week.

This Week's list of Joker nominations are courtesy of Grown Woman, who felt compelled to submit a list of nominees. Thanks Chica! Close call this week--CLOSE CALL.

Eddie Murphy--During a recent airing of The Donnie Simpson Morning Show on WPGC 95.5, it was reported that Eddie has not seen his 7 month old daughter with Mel B. and has stated that he has no plans of ever doing so.

Tracey Edmonds--For not throwing that ring back in Eddie's face. If he won't claim his own child, do you think he will be a good "step daddy" to your rugrats? WTF?

RKelly--For kicking Neyo off of his tour because Neyo was getting more props than him. The whole Best of Both Worlds nonsense all over again. Neyo said that R Kelly wouldn't even speak to him--Neyo wanted to thank him and let him know how honored he was to be on the tour, but Kels wouldn't let him have a dressing room. R Kelly used all 7 rooms, wouldn't let him rehearse for more than 2 hours--although he was scheduled for 4 hours of rehearsal time and refused to allow anyone in the hallway when he was walking by.

Keyshia Cole--For refusing to perform before Neyo because she claims to be a bigger star than Neyo--B--please.

Dr. Jan Adams (again) --For coming all the way to the Larry King show knowing that he was going to just walk off anyway. He looks more like a playa than a surgeon. I wouldn't want him to operate on me~!!

Linda Hogan--Hulk Hogan's wife of 24 years filed for divorce and didn't even have the nerve to tell Hulk. He had to find out from a reporter!!!

Picture Source - Linda Hogan
Picture Source - Keyshia Cole
Picture Source - Murphy and Edmonds

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Staying Fit and Healthy this Holiday Season!!

Health and lifestyle wellness coach A.J. Johnson has given Essence Magazine some fabulous tips for staying fit and healthy this holiday season. Read the Essence Magazine article below.

You know the routine: First, you chomp down on your mom’s signature apple pie; then sip a few cocktails at the holiday office party. And don't forget, the hours spent cooking when you should be pumping iron at the gym. “It’s definitely a difficult time of year. You’re trying to squeeze into cute dresses, but there’s cookies and egg nog everywhere,” says wellness guru A.J. Johnson, whose celebrity clients include BeyoncĂ©, Michelle Williams, Kelly Rowland, Gabrielle Union, Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. “Still, it’s not a time to make excuses. You should plan instead of panic.” Here, Johnson shares her best secrets for having a happy holiday without it all going to your waist.

#1 Do Some Prep Work
“Commit to making a plan. The better the plan, the healthier the holiday,” says Johnson who has a ‘no excuses’ philosophy when it comes to wellness. Need to do holiday shopping during your normal workout time? Figure out when you’ll make it up or carry your goods instead of pushing them around in a cart so shopping becomes a workout. If you know that you’re going to indulge a bit at an office potluck, cut a few calories from other meals to make up for it.

#2 Fix Yourself A Plate—At Home
“If you’re going to a holiday dinner someplace else, eat a little something before you go so you’re not starving and likely to overeat when you get there,” advises Johnson. This is also a great way to make sure you’re eating healthy because you can pick the ingredients of your own dishes at home, even when we’re talking about desserts.. “When you’re making holiday cakes and pies, I’d rather people use honey, molasses, brown sugar, or even fresh fruit juice” suggests Johnson. “Natural sugar will burn off faster than chemically processed sugars.”

#3 Go Ahead, Have a Taste!
“A taste isn’t bad. You can have a taste of mac-and-cheese, but it shouldn’t become a side. It should be a tasty treat,” explains Johnson. So if the sweet potatoes or mac-and-cheese are making your mouth water, give in. But after your spoonful of banana pudding or forkful of pumpkin pie, put that utensil down and catch up with the cousin you haven’t seen in a year, or sit down and play a game with your nephew. By paying attention to portions, you’ll get to have your cake and eat it too without suffering the consequences.

#4 Avoid Eater’s Remorse
“Instead of saying, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that,’ say ‘I want it, I’m going to eat it, and I’ll have work to do later for it,’” advises Johnson. “If I say I can’t pass up that red velvet cake, I know that means I have to do an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill or do an extra lap at the mall." So indulge, but have a plan of attack when it comes to blasting those extra calories that you’ve consumed.

#5 Shift The Focus Away From Food
“We make the excuse that Thanksgiving is about the dinner,” says Johnson, “but Thanksgiving can be about organizing the family touch-football game, group twister or everyone taking a walk together.” Try introducing new traditions to your holiday get-togethers that get your family moving—and burning calories. That way you all benefit in the end.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Online Shopping Tips for the Holiday Season

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL!!! Enjoy the holidays!!!

If you're like most Americans, you will be doing a lot of your holiday shopping this [black]Friday. Most people will wake up super early to hit the stores. Last year, I hit Target, Macy's, Bloomingdales and Bed Bath & Beyond for all their megasales. Too bad!! I was too late. This year, I"m guessed it - ONLINE!! I'm sure I'm not alone. For myself and all those other super smart shoppers out there, here are few sassy online shopping tips from Happy Clicking!!

Top Tips: Online shopping safety - By Gerri Willis, CNN

The online shopping season is expected to bring in almost $39 billion in sales this year. And online shopping is a great way to keep your spending in line. But when you let your fingers do the walking, you'll want to take some precautions.

1. Look for a lock

You are particularly vulnerable to identity thieves when you're sending out your credit card information. To make sure your Web site is safe, look for a picture of a closed lock in the browser window. If you see a broken lock or key that means security isn't operating at that time according to the American Bar Association.

When the Web page asks for your credit card information, the web address should begin with "https" instead of "http." Other sites will have a pop up box that indicates you are entering a secure area.

2. Know your privacy

Ever wonder why you get spam from marketers you never did business with? It's because sellers on the web are allowed to collect your name, address, information on what Web site pages you visit, which products you buy, and where you ship them.

The seller can also share the information with other companies or sell it to them. Result: more spam. It's a good idea to check the seller's privacy policy. This will tell you what info the seller is collecting, how it will be used - and most importantly, how you can opt out of having this info distributed. Check for the privacy policy under "legal terms" or "terms and conditions."

3. Use the card

You'll be better off using a credit card rather than a debit card if you're making purchases online. A lot of cards have a "zero liability limit" meaning that you won't be held responsible if there's a fraudulent charge to your card. Federal law also limits the amount you would owe to $50.

Some cards even let you create an online ID for one-time purchases. Bank of America's ShopSafe card lets you create a temporary number when you make an online purchase. This number links to your real credit card - and keeps your real card safe. Discover card also lets you shop online with secure online account numbers. Call your credit card issuer and find out if it offers a protection like that.

4. Be wary of e-mails

You may receive an e-mail that looks like its from the company. It may ask you for your personal information in order to "verify" accounts or "clear up" errors that have occurred.

Remember, legitimate businesses do not ask for social security numbers or bank account numbers. You shouldn't respond to these e-mails and don't click on the links they contain.

If you want to check with the company, type the address of the Web site into your own computer or call the company about any questions. You should also consider changing your password every 3 to 4 months to make sure it hasn't fallen into the wrong hands.

Black Friday shopping guide - Marshall Loeb, MarketWatch

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Waking up early, pounding a cup of coffee and sprinting to the nearest mall has become a post-Thanksgiving tradition for many Americans bargain hunters. Not only does so-called Black Friday usher in the holiday shopping season, it also brings with it some of the best sales of the year.

But to get the most for your money, you would do well to heed the advice of The Motley Fool's "Pro-shopper" Dayana Yochim before hitting the stores:
Shop the night before. If you're looking for the cheapest prices on the "hottest" items, you may want to start your shopping online the night before. Why? A number of retail outlets post their Black Friday sales prices online on Thursday night, Yochim says. Snagging "must-have" items online in advance of the sales rush means you'll get the best price without having to worry about the store running out of the product you're after.

Search for coupon codes. If you're shopping online, be sure to take advantage of coupon codes. "If you're not, you're leaving money on the table," says Yochim. New to the world of coupon codes? Don't worry, it's easy. Just plug the name of the product you're looking for into your search engine along with the words "coupon code." If there is a coupon available, a link should appear, providing you with a discount code to plug in when you order online. You can also find deals on Web sites, such as, and

Research store return policies. A number of retailers are changing their return policies just for the holiday season, says Yochim, which means if you're not careful you could get stuck with some hefty fees for returns and exchanges. Stores' return policies are generally posted on their Web sites. You can also ask a clerk to help decode the fine print on the back of your receipt. But beware: many holiday employees are temporary and may not be clear on store policy.

Order must-have items early. If snagging the best deal is less important than making sure that you get your hands on this season's hottest toys, it's important to get a head-start on your shopping. Last year, retailers vastly overestimated the demand for a number of products and were forced to sell merchandise at bargain basement prices. To ensure this doesn't happen again, many stores are only stocking the bare minimum this holiday season, so supplies could run low, Yochim warns.

Beware of "sales." Just because something is on "sale," doesn't mean it's a good deal. So before you buy, do some retail recon. Go online and compare prices. "The more Web sites you visit to get an apples-to-apples comparison, the easier it will be to recognize a real deal," Yochim says. When you're ready to buy make sure you know exactly what's included in the purchase price or you may find yourself shelling out more for expensive "add-ons." Hint: If you're shopping in stores, bring hard-to-beat online offers to your local retailer and see if it will match the price.

Watch out for "warranties." Many salespeople make commissions off warranties, so if you're in the market for consumer electronics or appliances be prepared to get the hard sell. Yochim advises steering clear of warranties unless you're buying a product that hasn't been on the market long enough to have established reliability ratings. If you do opt for a warranty, you shouldn't be paying more than 20% of the product's purchase price, according to Consumer Reports.

Sweat the big stuff. If you don't have time to methodically search out the best deals for everything on your list, Yochim recommends concentrating your energy on big-ticket items, such as televisions and computers, where you can net the most significant savings.


Picture Source

Friday, November 16, 2007

Random Tidbits - Sexism and Perjury

John McCain - At a recent rally, the Republican presidential hopeful was asked by a supporter, "How do we beat the bitch?" in reference to Hillary Clinton. McCain laughed and then responded that that was an excellent question. Classy guy huh? (Side note--It's sad that the question came from a woman and that because Hillary is strong and opinionated automatically she's a bitch. What a world).

Barry Bonds - The record-breaking baseball player was indicted yesterday on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. Bonds is accused of lying to a grand jury by saying that he did not knowingly take steroids. He faces a maximum of 30 years in prison. Not a good look for black sports figures these days--first Michael Vick.....

Matt Damon is the Sexiest Man ALIVE? I didn't get the memo.

People magazine has just listed the 100 Sexiest Men alive. Matt Damon took top honors. Now, I liked the Bourne Ultimatum as much as anyone else, and he has a certain cute quality--but sexiest man drawing breath anywhere in the universe? Not so much.

Sadly, aside from Denzel, I didn't see any of the other smokin' hot men of color listed in CITC's Top 12 a week or so ago, on People's list. Yet somehow Shemar Moore, Donald Faison and Kanye West made the list? Booo. I mean, after Shemar's nude gay beach frolic, his sex appeal (at least for me) has dropped significantly.

For my money, I'm giving top honors to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (pictured below). Now that's a man right there!

Who do you think is really the sexiest man alive?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

That's What S/He Said!

Rapper Nelly - “You look at Essence magazine... you wouldn't put me on the cover because of the 'Tip Drill' video. But yet still, you put Halle Berry on the cover. She's had a 15-minute sex scene with some white guy in front of a couch ... I mean you can't tell me that 'Tip Drill' was worse than watching that sex scene between Billy Bob (Thornton) and Halle Berry. You can't tell me that.”

NBA Player Stephen Marbury (upon learning that he wasn't going to be starting in a recent game against the Phoenix Suns) - "Isiah has to start me. I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."

Darius McCrary (formerly Eddie Winslow on Family Matters on his rumored relationship with Karrine Steffans (aka Supahead) - "If you're gonna turn a ho into a housewife, that's the one to get." (I feel like adding this fool to the Joker of the Week list)

Wilhellmina Slater (Vanessa Williams) (on her wedding woes on Ugly Betty) - ''I have flower problems, catering problems, and Bradford wants something called a Shania Twain to perform at our reception.''

Bush (on Governor Schwarzenegger) - "All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."

LL Cool J (on Jigga running Def Jam) - "I just don't feel like he had the necessary experience to do that job. I don't know any other record company that he worked for where he learned how to run this business.This is a label that started in 1984 and you just can't give somebody a job because you want to attract talent and look sexy... because there are artists that suffer. I'm not anti-Jay-Z, I'm [just] pro-LL."
Picture Source: Nelly


Congrats to Bounty Hunter Duane Chapman for his unanimous Joker of the Week victory. Who will dethrone him?

This Week's Nominees.......

Michael Jordan - For having to pay up $168 million to Juanita in their divorce settlement. On the flip side--Do the D*mn thing Juanita!

Dr. Jan Adams - Surgeon who operated on Donda West, Kanye's mom, who has apparently been slapped with multiple medical malpractice suits.....

Charles Tucker, Jr. - 32 year old man who died while trying to sneak into his girlfriend's home THROUGH THE CAT DOOR after she threw him out of her house.

State Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, - Democratic candidate in Louisiana who ended a recent phone conversation with the mother of the president of the NAACP's local chapter by saying "Talk to you later, Buckwheat."

Picture Source - Duane Chapman
Picture Source - Jan Adams
Picture Source - Jordans
Picture Source - Rep. Dartez

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Condolences to Kanye

Our condolences go out to Kanye on the death of his biggest supporter - His Mom.

Donda West, the mother and onetime manager of rapper Kanye West, died Saturday in Los Angeles. BBC News quotes her publicist as saying she passed away "as the result of complications from a cosmetic surgical procedure," but gave no more details. West's spokesman said the family "asks for privacy during this time of grief." West, 58, a retired professor and former chairwoman of the Chicago State University English department, was a tireless supporter of her son as he both earned success and stirred up controversy. "Kanye likes to think as a hobby and speak his own mind. He was always like that," Donda West told InStyle earlier this year. "He came out of the womb looking like he had that attitude."As CEO of West Brands LLC and co-founder of the Kanye West Foundation, she teamed with her son to develop a nonprofit that aimed to combat the dropout problem in high schools in 2005. In May, she released the book Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Superstar.

Supportive Mother

Donda West raised her son as a single mother in the Chicago neighborhood of South Shore after divorcing his father Ray, a former Black Panther, when Kanye was 3. The rapper paid tribute to her efforts in his song "Hey Mama," singing: "See you're unbreakable, unmistakable/ Highly capable, lady that's makin loot/ A livin' legend too, just look at what heaven do/ Send us an angel, and I thank you (Hey Mama)." The ode became the ring tone she played on her cell phone. "She always gave me support," Kanye West said. "A lot of parents don't train their kids to think."In June, Donda joined Kanye to celebrate his 30th birthday at the flagship Louis Vuitton store in Manhattan, where she danced onstage to "She Wants to Move" as her son chanted "Go Mom! Go Mom!" The next celebration she was looking forward to was his marriage. Of Kanye's fiancé Alexis Phifer, she told PEOPLE: "The best thing that I love about her is that she loves my son. You can't beat that."

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Chicas On Vacay!!!!!!!!!!!

Drinks, Hotties, Shopping, OH MY! Several of the Chicas are headed on a mini-vacay so the posts are going to be a little sparse for a few days. Sassy has already been in Italy for a week (damn her) and she invited us to join her for the second leg of her European adventure in Barcelona. All I need is an invite and my bags are ready to go. HAAA! So, we're packing up and taking this show on the road for a long weekend. And since the party scene in Espana is ridic, I know we'll have plenty to blog about on our return. Those Spanish hombres ain't ready!

Pictures--from prior Barcelona excursions (and yes that is an MJ impersonator in the street).

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hollywood Writers Strike And We'll Have To Watch (wait for it.....) RERUNS!

Woe is me. The Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers and the Writer's Guild of America's bargaining talks have failed and now writers of our favorite tv shows and movies are walking the picket line. I realize there are serious implications for the entire entertainment industry, their families, and I completely understand that these writers simply want to be compensated when shows they have written are downloaded on Ipods or sold as DVDS. Who wouldn't want to make money off of their work? However, the thought of reruns of my favorite shows in any other period than the summertime hurts my heart! I mean, mid-season, no Ugly Betty, The Office, 30 Rock, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, The Game? What's a girl to do? Sure I can read a book, go outside, and/or get a life, but somehow I feel I'm going to be sitting somewhere watching I Love New York 2 marathons.....


Congrats to Halle Berry for winning last week's Joker of the Week crown. On to this week's nominees. Drumroll please....

T-Pain - For being arrested for non-moving traffic violations and driving without a license. Isn't that some random Britney Spears nonsense? Come on Nappy Boy.

Da Brat - For being arrested for allegedly busting a bottle of rum upside some waitress's head at Jermaine Dupri's nightclub Studio 72 in Atlanta, Georgia. Is anyone else tired of female rappers spending more time in jail than in the studio (i.e. Lil' Kim, Remy Ma, Foxy Brown)?

Bounty Hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman - For being caught on tape in a racist tirade about his son dating a black woman, which included such gems as, "I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever. It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word ni**er sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some f***** ni**er heard us say ni**er and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a ni**er, we would all say 'f*ck you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word ni**er. We don't mean you f*cking scum ni**er without a soul. We don't mean that sh*t. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that Tucker." (I hate to reprint this hatred, but I really want him to be the Joker of the Week).