Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Dr. Jan Adams - For performing a questionable surgery on Kanye's mom and then breaching all kinds of doctor/patient confidentiality by speculating about the cause her death to the LA Times...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
It is very likely that after today or early tomorrow, I will not look at or think about the internet, a computer or anything that resembles work until after the holidays. Soooooo to that end--Happy Holidays! Hopefully, you're spending time with your families, traveling to exotic locales, or at least resting (Sassy....).
So have a Merry Christmas from CITC!
Janice Dickinson (to Al Roker on Tyra Banks' weight) - "[Jennifer Love Hewitt] is a healthy, not emaciated woman...You want to see someone who's fat? I'm sorry, Tyra. Tyra Banks is fat. This girl is not fat." Someone who looks like a Botox Crypt Keeper Barbie should not cast stones....
Bow Wow (his response to a punk'd style interviewer on BET) - "You pay my bills, bruh? Real talk. …Don't ask this man is he taking moves from Chris Brown, and don't ask no other disrespectful-*ss, stupid-*ss questions. You got a problem with it you can holler at me." HA!!!!!!
Omarion (defending Bow Wow's angry reaction to the prank) - "Everything is good, man," he said. "You know how it is, sometimes when you're coming up in the game and you as young as we have been, sometimes people think they can — not necessarily push us around, but they feel they can play with us like that. If it had been 50 Cent or Game or any other man who would have stepped up in that interview, it would have went a lot differently. We want our respect, man. We want our respect as men. You don't just throw a man in a spoof interview and disrespect him. You have to respectfully talk to him. We didn't know it was a spoof, but I'm a little bit different when we handle situations. I'm very mild-tempered. I like to think about what I do before I do it. Bow gets upset." Boohoo.
He added: "Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Wesley Snipes - For being conveniently black like OJ now that he's facing a tax trial....
Ruben Studdard - He cancelled an appearance at my church this week at the last minute AFTER the Christmas program was built around him, tickets were sold and the event was advertised. Since I'm speaking on church I'm going to try and refrain from disparaging remarks.
Old man at Iowa debate - He questioned Obama's loyalty to the black community and actually referenced the OJ decision. I need to insert the quote to give the full effect. “[S]omething has been sticking in my craw...a certain fella committed two murders in California and the jury found him not guilty. And all they said was, ‘It’s payback time.’ How are you going to have that come out in this election to combat one of your competitors?...The black jury in Los Angeles, the reason they found O.J. not guilty was ‘payback...for mistreatment by white America...How are you going to get that brought out in your campaign? Will the same thing happen? If he should become elected, you think Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Oprah Winfrey are going to let him forget about that and their obligation? Obama, has never said anything about payback for the problems the blacks have had getting their foothold in society.” (Can I declare this fool the winner and have done with it? Really. Now I'm torn between him and Ruben!)
Buddha, New York and Tailor made and anyone who understands this reference.
Picture Source: Snipes
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sweet merciful Jesus! This picture was taken of MJ at a Barnes and Noble this weekend in Vegas. Seriously, he should have sent Jeeves to pick that book up. That is definitely not how one should leave their home. I'm actually a little frightened.
Friday, December 14, 2007
1. DAUGHTRY Daughtry
3. B'DAY Beyonce
4. KONVICTED Akon
5. FUTURESEX/LOVESOUNDS Justin Timberlake
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Putting aside First Amendment concerns with the bill and putting aside the fact that I hate to see men tripping up on jeans and exposing their underwear, is that true? Is that really the origin of sagging pants? If so, am I the only one who didn't know that? That is fascinating if it's true, on a lot of different levels. Sagging pants are seen as so cool, thuggish, manly, and the notion that the trend began by men signaling that they wanted to have relations with other men in prison is so contrary to that image. Further, due to the popularity of hip hop culture the "prison flirt" look then transcended prison, hit the streets and infiltrated suburbia and fashion period. And it's all based on some Oz-like romancing? Interesting.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I hate to do this to one of my own, but Kreativemix A.K.A. Sassy is the Joker of the Week for tagging fellow chicas!!!! LOL. Enjoy the honor and join fellow Joker alum such as T.I., Eddie Murphy, and Bill O'Reilly in the CITC Hall of Fame.
Now which one of the women in these photos is Sassy? HA!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
1. I have such a crush on Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson, that I read and actually enjoyed his autobiography, The Rock Says.
2. I hate the summertime. Once I started working and could not benefit from a school time summer vacay, I realized that summer meant I was just hot and working. No joy there.
3. When I was a kid, my dimples were so huge that other kids put nickels and dimes in them just to see if they would fit.
4. I watch reruns of Seinfeld, Martin, The Simpsons, The Cosby Show, Xena Warrior Princess, Sex and the City and numerous other shows like I've never seen the episodes before.
5. I LOVE to read--everything from Shakespeare to historical romances to L.A. Banks vampire fiction to Harry Potter. Give me a new book, a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate by my fireplace and I'm SET!
6. I am addicted to the Nestle hot chocolate maker in my new office. It's like crack with chocolate calories.
7. I have a purse fetish. Every time I travel to a new country I have to buy at least one ridiculous purse. (Purse below similar to the one I just got in Espana).
Thursday, December 6, 2007
And this got me to thinking about all of the bad lines I've heard over the years from random guys. Some of my favorites include:
1. Where is your man at? Cause if I was your man, I'd never leave you alone." (Oddly a popular line--but frankly makes me think the guy is some kind of needy stalker).
2. So round, so brown, so fine. (Umm, yeah, you lost me at so round. WTF?)
3. Smile for me. Don't look so mean. (Maybe I'm having a bad friggin' day and don't feel like smiling!)
The bottom line is--can I get a simple "Hello, how are you?" Is that too much to ask?
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
First of all, if you look at the above pictures you'll notice that these chicas have protuding bellies. They are not in the first trimester of pregnancy, which is usually the period when most women feel out of sorts, sick and just plain dejected. These women have clearly passed that phase and are now in the "glowing" phase of pregnancy. And of course I use the term glowing loosely. I'll explain why later.
Second, these ladies have a glam patrol. Let's see how they got so fab -
3. Hair Stylist
4. Wardrobe Stylist
5. Personal Assistant
6. Makeup Stylist
7. Eyelash curler stylist
8. Tan Stylist - the individual, person or thing that provides that fake glow so vividly displayed in the above pictures
9. Assistants to the stylists mentioned above
10. Good lighting
11. Good camera angles
12. Good posing
13. Fabulous Airbrush consultants
14. Tons and tons of cash!!!
15. Access to Massages, pampering, spas
16. All of the above and tons more that a normal chica like me cannot even fathom.
3. For my colleague, your broke rass cannot afford all the 16 items in #2 that your girlfriend needs to look fashion-cover-ready. Your broke rass needs to stop comparing your wonderful, gorgeous girlfriend to some misplaced fantasy on some magazine cover. This is the same dude who looks at comso, essence and glamour covers and thinks all women should look like halle, tyra, giselle or beyonce. Have you seen these chicas when they wake up in the morning, with the crust in their eyes and dry spit on the side of their mouths? Have you seen these chicas in their first trimester hugging the toilet as they regurgitate their last meal? No you haven't. All you've seen is some airbrushed styled magazine cover touting how beautiful and fabulous it is to be "whatever it is they say they are." Keep it real!! What you see in front of you every morning and next to you in bed at night is the real deal. If your girl had the glam patrol, guess what MFKR.............
guess what??? SHE WON'T BE WITH YOUR RASS!!!!
SHE'LL BE WITH ALL THOSE HOTTIES THAT HAVE BEEN LISTED ON THIS BLOG AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER AND NOT YOUR BROKE, UNFABULOUS, UNAPPRECIATIVE, FANTASY-LIVING RASS!! GET OVER IT ALREADY AND TREAT YOUR WOMAN LIKE THE DESERVING GODDESS SHE IS!!!!
And look here, Halle, Nicole, Jlo and anyone else carrying a baby or babies, I don't want to see your naked rass on some cover all dolled up looking like the fabulous diva that you probably are. I want to see you on the cover of the magazine keeping it real on behalf of all pregnant women out there. We know that some of you have been looking forward this day for a long time and we have been right there with you, praying, hoping, fasting, some even doing voodoo (you know who you are) so that you can one day enjoy the joy of pregnancy....... So we appreciate and applaud your joy. We celebrate this wonderful blessing, but we want you to know that you're creating some false expectations. That said, I'm not sure I'd buy a magazine with Halle on the cover hugging some toilet bowl, being sick all over the place so I guess..........i'm kind of a little hyprocrite........... but anyway, I digress, you get my drift, right????
And for all those pregnant women out there, we can't wait to see your little precious, wonderful bundles of joys!!!
UK BBC Presenter Myleene Klass, Britney spears, Demi Moore, Christina Aguillera
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
1. A winning MegaMillions and/or Powerball ticket - Self-explanatory
2. Idris Elba - Lord have mercy. I saw This Christmas last weekend and was positively mesmerized every time he stepped onscreen. Will somebody give this man more movie roles?! He's giving the Rock a serious run for celebrity I wouldn't mind stalking. HA!
3. A trip to Dubai - I would have to stay at the Burj Al Arab, the best hotel in the world allegedly. Each two level suite is equipped with its own butler. Hey, we could all use some time pampered by Geoffrey couldn't we?
4. A Jodeci reunion cd - I had the misfortune of seeing K-Ci and Jo Jo's lackluster, disjointed, Sandman please dance out here and give these jokers the boot performance this past June during the New Edition tour. So I have no desire to see a live Jodeci reunion. HOWEVER, I can't help but think about the greatness that was Diary of a Mad Band or the remixes of Come and Talk to Me or I'm Still Waiting, and long for a studio album.
5. A new Ipod or a cognac leather fendi spy bag.
Given that I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting most of the things on my list, I will most likely have to settle for a new I pod. What's on your holiday wish list this year?
Picture Source - Burj
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
"I just take this job very seriously," Taylor said in a rare group interview during training camp. "It's almost like, you play a kid's game for a king's ransom. And if you don't take it serious enough, eventually one day you're going to say, 'Oh, I could have done this, I could have done that.'
"So I just say, 'I'm healthy right now, I'm going into my fourth year, and why not do the best that I can?' And that's whatever it is, whether it's eating right or training myself right, whether it's studying harder, whatever I can do to better myself."
Monday, November 26, 2007
And he said, 'Shut your mouth and don't say a word when a white man is talking.'
"To think for one moment I could possibly fit into that box … I am so far from that word that it is funny. They looked so uncomfortable; I wanted to emasculate him, to make sure he was getting no nookie that night. The girls sobered up and were looking scared. It was something else - the first time in my life I've been called that. Wow. But I enjoyed it. You must fight back; it's imperative. I like the fight in me now."
This Week's list of Joker nominations are courtesy of Grown Woman, who felt compelled to submit a list of nominees. Thanks Chica! Close call this week--CLOSE CALL.
Eddie Murphy--During a recent airing of The Donnie Simpson Morning Show on WPGC 95.5, it was reported that Eddie has not seen his 7 month old daughter with Mel B. and has stated that he has no plans of ever doing so.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
You know the routine: First, you chomp down on your mom’s signature apple pie; then sip a few cocktails at the holiday office party. And don't forget, the hours spent cooking when you should be pumping iron at the gym. “It’s definitely a difficult time of year. You’re trying to squeeze into cute dresses, but there’s cookies and egg nog everywhere,” says wellness guru A.J. Johnson, whose celebrity clients include Beyoncé, Michelle Williams, Kelly Rowland, Gabrielle Union, Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. “Still, it’s not a time to make excuses. You should plan instead of panic.” Here, Johnson shares her best secrets for having a happy holiday without it all going to your waist.
#1 Do Some Prep Work
“Commit to making a plan. The better the plan, the healthier the holiday,” says Johnson who has a ‘no excuses’ philosophy when it comes to wellness. Need to do holiday shopping during your normal workout time? Figure out when you’ll make it up or carry your goods instead of pushing them around in a cart so shopping becomes a workout. If you know that you’re going to indulge a bit at an office potluck, cut a few calories from other meals to make up for it.
#2 Fix Yourself A Plate—At Home
“If you’re going to a holiday dinner someplace else, eat a little something before you go so you’re not starving and likely to overeat when you get there,” advises Johnson. This is also a great way to make sure you’re eating healthy because you can pick the ingredients of your own dishes at home, even when we’re talking about desserts.. “When you’re making holiday cakes and pies, I’d rather people use honey, molasses, brown sugar, or even fresh fruit juice” suggests Johnson. “Natural sugar will burn off faster than chemically processed sugars.”
#3 Go Ahead, Have a Taste!
“A taste isn’t bad. You can have a taste of mac-and-cheese, but it shouldn’t become a side. It should be a tasty treat,” explains Johnson. So if the sweet potatoes or mac-and-cheese are making your mouth water, give in. But after your spoonful of banana pudding or forkful of pumpkin pie, put that utensil down and catch up with the cousin you haven’t seen in a year, or sit down and play a game with your nephew. By paying attention to portions, you’ll get to have your cake and eat it too without suffering the consequences.
#4 Avoid Eater’s Remorse
“Instead of saying, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that,’ say ‘I want it, I’m going to eat it, and I’ll have work to do later for it,’” advises Johnson. “If I say I can’t pass up that red velvet cake, I know that means I have to do an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill or do an extra lap at the mall." So indulge, but have a plan of attack when it comes to blasting those extra calories that you’ve consumed.
#5 Shift The Focus Away From Food
“We make the excuse that Thanksgiving is about the dinner,” says Johnson, “but Thanksgiving can be about organizing the family touch-football game, group twister or everyone taking a walk together.” Try introducing new traditions to your holiday get-togethers that get your family moving—and burning calories. That way you all benefit in the end.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
If you're like most Americans, you will be doing a lot of your holiday shopping this [black]Friday. Most people will wake up super early to hit the stores. Last year, I hit Target, Macy's, Bloomingdales and Bed Bath & Beyond for all their megasales. Too bad!! I was too late. This year, I"m shopping...........you guessed it - ONLINE!! I'm sure I'm not alone. For myself and all those other super smart shoppers out there, here are few sassy online shopping tips from CNNMoney.com. Happy Clicking!!
Top Tips: Online shopping safety - By Gerri Willis, CNN
The online shopping season is expected to bring in almost $39 billion in sales this year. And online shopping is a great way to keep your spending in line. But when you let your fingers do the walking, you'll want to take some precautions.
1. Look for a lock
You are particularly vulnerable to identity thieves when you're sending out your credit card information. To make sure your Web site is safe, look for a picture of a closed lock in the browser window. If you see a broken lock or key that means security isn't operating at that time according to the American Bar Association.
When the Web page asks for your credit card information, the web address should begin with "https" instead of "http." Other sites will have a pop up box that indicates you are entering a secure area.
2. Know your privacy
Ever wonder why you get spam from marketers you never did business with? It's because sellers on the web are allowed to collect your name, address, information on what Web site pages you visit, which products you buy, and where you ship them.
3. Use the card
You'll be better off using a credit card rather than a debit card if you're making purchases online. A lot of cards have a "zero liability limit" meaning that you won't be held responsible if there's a fraudulent charge to your card. Federal law also limits the amount you would owe to $50.
Some cards even let you create an online ID for one-time purchases. Bank of America's ShopSafe card lets you create a temporary number when you make an online purchase. This number links to your real credit card - and keeps your real card safe. Discover card also lets you shop online with secure online account numbers. Call your credit card issuer and find out if it offers a protection like that.
4. Be wary of e-mails
You may receive an e-mail that looks like its from the company. It may ask you for your personal information in order to "verify" accounts or "clear up" errors that have occurred.
Remember, legitimate businesses do not ask for social security numbers or bank account numbers. You shouldn't respond to these e-mails and don't click on the links they contain.
If you want to check with the company, type the address of the Web site into your own computer or call the company about any questions. You should also consider changing your password every 3 to 4 months to make sure it hasn't fallen into the wrong hands.
NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Waking up early, pounding a cup of coffee and sprinting to the nearest mall has become a post-Thanksgiving tradition for many Americans bargain hunters. Not only does so-called Black Friday usher in the holiday shopping season, it also brings with it some of the best sales of the year.
But to get the most for your money, you would do well to heed the advice of The Motley Fool's "Pro-shopper" Dayana Yochim before hitting the stores:
Shop the night before. If you're looking for the cheapest prices on the "hottest" items, you may want to start your shopping online the night before. Why? A number of retail outlets post their Black Friday sales prices online on Thursday night, Yochim says. Snagging "must-have" items online in advance of the sales rush means you'll get the best price without having to worry about the store running out of the product you're after.
Search for coupon codes. If you're shopping online, be sure to take advantage of coupon codes. "If you're not, you're leaving money on the table," says Yochim. New to the world of coupon codes? Don't worry, it's easy. Just plug the name of the product you're looking for into your search engine along with the words "coupon code." If there is a coupon available, a link should appear, providing you with a discount code to plug in when you order online. You can also find deals on Web sites, such as Currentcodes.com, Couponcabin.com and Dealcoupon.com.
Research store return policies. A number of retailers are changing their return policies just for the holiday season, says Yochim, which means if you're not careful you could get stuck with some hefty fees for returns and exchanges. Stores' return policies are generally posted on their Web sites. You can also ask a clerk to help decode the fine print on the back of your receipt. But beware: many holiday employees are temporary and may not be clear on store policy.
Order must-have items early. If snagging the best deal is less important than making sure that you get your hands on this season's hottest toys, it's important to get a head-start on your shopping. Last year, retailers vastly overestimated the demand for a number of products and were forced to sell merchandise at bargain basement prices. To ensure this doesn't happen again, many stores are only stocking the bare minimum this holiday season, so supplies could run low, Yochim warns.
Beware of "sales." Just because something is on "sale," doesn't mean it's a good deal. So before you buy, do some retail recon. Go online and compare prices. "The more Web sites you visit to get an apples-to-apples comparison, the easier it will be to recognize a real deal," Yochim says. When you're ready to buy make sure you know exactly what's included in the purchase price or you may find yourself shelling out more for expensive "add-ons." Hint: If you're shopping in stores, bring hard-to-beat online offers to your local retailer and see if it will match the price.
Watch out for "warranties." Many salespeople make commissions off warranties, so if you're in the market for consumer electronics or appliances be prepared to get the hard sell. Yochim advises steering clear of warranties unless you're buying a product that hasn't been on the market long enough to have established reliability ratings. If you do opt for a warranty, you shouldn't be paying more than 20% of the product's purchase price, according to Consumer Reports.
Sweat the big stuff. If you don't have time to methodically search out the best deals for everything on your list, Yochim recommends concentrating your energy on big-ticket items, such as televisions and computers, where you can net the most significant savings.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Barry Bonds - The record-breaking baseball player was indicted yesterday on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. Bonds is accused of lying to a grand jury by saying that he did not knowingly take steroids. He faces a maximum of 30 years in prison. Not a good look for black sports figures these days--first Michael Vick.....
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
NBA Player Stephen Marbury (upon learning that he wasn't going to be starting in a recent game against the Phoenix Suns) - "Isiah has to start me. I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."
Darius McCrary (formerly Eddie Winslow on Family Matters on his rumored relationship with Karrine Steffans (aka Supahead) - "If you're gonna turn a ho into a housewife, that's the one to get." (I feel like adding this fool to the Joker of the Week list)
Wilhellmina Slater (Vanessa Williams) (on her wedding woes on Ugly Betty) - ''I have flower problems, catering problems, and Bradford wants something called a Shania Twain to perform at our reception.''
LL Cool J (on Jigga running Def Jam) - "I just don't feel like he had the necessary experience to do that job. I don't know any other record company that he worked for where he learned how to run this business.This is a label that started in 1984 and you just can't give somebody a job because you want to attract talent and look sexy... because there are artists that suffer. I'm not anti-Jay-Z, I'm [just] pro-LL."
Congrats to Bounty Hunter Duane Chapman for his unanimous Joker of the Week victory. Who will dethrone him?
Michael Jordan - For having to pay up $168 million to Juanita in their divorce settlement. On the flip side--Do the D*mn thing Juanita!
Dr. Jan Adams - Surgeon who operated on Donda West, Kanye's mom, who has apparently been slapped with multiple medical malpractice suits.....
Charles Tucker, Jr. - 32 year old man who died while trying to sneak into his girlfriend's home THROUGH THE CAT DOOR after she threw him out of her house.
State Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, - Democratic candidate in Louisiana who ended a recent phone conversation with the mother of the president of the NAACP's local chapter by saying "Talk to you later, Buckwheat."
Picture Source - Duane Chapman
Picture Source - Jan Adams
Picture Source - Jordans
Picture Source - Rep. Dartez
Tuesday, November 13, 2007