Friday, November 30, 2007

Not Hatin....................Just Sayin............

Today I had a conversation with a male coworker and his girlfriend......... The topic was pregnant celebrities. His girlfriend is 3 months pregnant with their first child and has been plagued with morning sickness, fatigue and all the other non-fabulous unpleasantness associated with pregnancy. Well, he wanted to know why his girlfriend "can't make herself presentable and try to at least look the way Christina looks on the cover of the upcoming Marie Claire magazine." His words, not mine. His girlfriend informed him that Christina and other celebrities usually don't get sick during pregnancy and that's why they look fabulous. I said, "huh????? [insert blank stare (as travel diva would say]!!!! I DISAGREE. I'll give you my version of why normal women don't look like Demi,Britney,Myleen or Christina!!!

First of all, if you look at the above pictures you'll notice that these chicas have protuding bellies. They are not in the first trimester of pregnancy, which is usually the period when most women feel out of sorts, sick and just plain dejected. These women have clearly passed that phase and are now in the "glowing" phase of pregnancy. And of course I use the term glowing loosely. I'll explain why later.

Second, these ladies have a glam patrol. Let's see how they got so fab -
1. Manicurist
2. Pedicurist
3. Hair Stylist
4. Wardrobe Stylist
5. Personal Assistant
6. Makeup Stylist
7. Eyelash curler stylist
8. Tan Stylist - the individual, person or thing that provides that fake glow so vividly displayed in the above pictures
9. Assistants to the stylists mentioned above
10. Good lighting
11. Good camera angles
12. Good posing
13. Fabulous Airbrush consultants
14. Tons and tons of cash!!!
15. Access to Massages, pampering, spas
16. All of the above and tons more that a normal chica like me cannot even fathom.

3. For my colleague, your broke rass cannot afford all the 16 items in #2 that your girlfriend needs to look fashion-cover-ready. Your broke rass needs to stop comparing your wonderful, gorgeous girlfriend to some misplaced fantasy on some magazine cover. This is the same dude who looks at comso, essence and glamour covers and thinks all women should look like halle, tyra, giselle or beyonce. Have you seen these chicas when they wake up in the morning, with the crust in their eyes and dry spit on the side of their mouths? Have you seen these chicas in their first trimester hugging the toilet as they regurgitate their last meal? No you haven't. All you've seen is some airbrushed styled magazine cover touting how beautiful and fabulous it is to be "whatever it is they say they are." Keep it real!! What you see in front of you every morning and next to you in bed at night is the real deal. If your girl had the glam patrol, guess what MFKR.............

guess what??? SHE WON'T BE WITH YOUR RASS!!!!


And look here, Halle, Nicole, Jlo and anyone else carrying a baby or babies, I don't want to see your naked rass on some cover all dolled up looking like the fabulous diva that you probably are. I want to see you on the cover of the magazine keeping it real on behalf of all pregnant women out there. We know that some of you have been looking forward this day for a long time and we have been right there with you, praying, hoping, fasting, some even doing voodoo (you know who you are) so that you can one day enjoy the joy of pregnancy....... So we appreciate and applaud your joy. We celebrate this wonderful blessing, but we want you to know that you're creating some false expectations. That said, I'm not sure I'd buy a magazine with Halle on the cover hugging some toilet bowl, being sick all over the place so I guess..........i'm kind of a little hyprocrite........... but anyway, I digress, you get my drift, right????

And for all those pregnant women out there, we can't wait to see your little precious, wonderful bundles of joys!!!

Stay Fabulous!!!

UK BBC Presenter Myleene Klass, Britney spears, Demi Moore, Christina Aguillera


TILshopgirl said...


So true, if she had the glam squad she wouldn't be with some dude who thinks pregant women should look like women on the cover of the magazine. I don't understand - how many times has it been discussed that these magazines are airbrushed and celebrities have stylist from head to toe? It's one thing for a little girl to ask that question. Quite another for a grown man who should know better and should have gotten the message - pregnancy can be beautiful, not your pregnant girlfriend or wife should look like this.

Lastly, i'm over the i'm the new demi more on the cover of the magazine. let's let it marinate for a few more years.

Grown Woman said...

Thanks so much!! As a pregnant woman, I totally agree. Men are idiots. They just don't get it--let's see if they would look like Denzel, LL, or Boris if they had another person living inside of them and could barely keep down lunch? C'mon. And yes, Sassy, you're totally right--I;m sure Halle didn't look so fab during her first trimester.

TravelDiva said...

LMBAO!!!!!!! That is so friggin' true. Please send that blog to your co-worker!!!!!!

Xochitl said...

I concur! It is possible that someone should ask him why he doesn't look like a male Hollywood A lister?

KreativeMix said...

LOL!! I dedicated this to grown woman and yes i sent it to the idiot. he read it and said i was just hating because these women are hot!!!


Lady Language said...

What a wonderful outpouring of non-hatred! Love it - these celebs really need to get real and stop acting so fabulous. We're all human and look pretty gross while pregnant!

Anonymous said...

[p]Passes th SSS Bass test at 10HZ great mids, trebles, nd bass . cheap beats by [url=]cheap beats by dre[/url] dre . Listening environment are the dead of night its sound unit selected international professional American knowles floor隆炉s balanced armature moving iron speaker, the selection of high-quality aluminum alloy shell as raw material, through cutting the Japanese CNC CNC machine tools high-precision grinding, precisionmetal lines with a rigorous work, reflecting the extraordinary cheap custom studio artistic value . It can be you are every money using that compose that considering financial situation to buy any piece of plots to stroke the part of landbests from dre single harley-davidson headphones, There are some states, bolted the door behind him, And they all pretty much look the same and say the same thing: logo,beats by dre uk, you have to know what moves the [url=]cheap beats by dre earphones[/url] market . The trouble is, it隆炉s [url=]beats by dre earphones[/url] not necessarily the most honest mix . Monster [url=]cheap solo beats by dre [/url] Studio Pink Beats by Dr . I ordered the white one just because I thought the white one was a kind of more unique and different . These products of real [url=]solo beats by dre[/url] people seems to newcomers, domestic, which is effective in the fight against the result of its exterior.[/p]

Anonymous said...

Excellent post however I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more
on this subject? I'd be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Kudos!

Visit my site :: continue reading this..

Anonymous said...

Thаnκѕ foг the marvеlοus рosting!
I quite enϳoyed rеading it, you may be a great author.
I wіll ensure that I booκmaгk
youг blog and maу come back very soon.
I want to еncouгаge one tο continuе your great ωork,
have a niсe weekend!

Feеl free to visіt my web ρagе; lloyd irvin

Anonymous said...

This іs the peгfеct webѕite fοr аnybody who гeally wants to undеrѕtanԁ thіs topic.

You unԁеrstаnd ѕo much its almοst
tоugh to aгgue ωith уou (not that І pеrsonally ωould want tо…ΗaΗa).

Υοu certаinly put a new spin οn a ѕubјect thаt has bееn wгitten about for ages.
Wonderful stuff, just great!

Review mу ωeb site ... reputation management