Today, while minding my business, casually strolling to Chipotle for a lunchtime salad, I was accosted by a random joker. I saw this guy headed in my general direction wheeling 4 or 5 boxes. When he saw me he veered left and literally started running towards me with his cart. And I thought, I know this fool isn't headed for me.... When he got within inches of me, he said, "Owwwwww, I'm a run you ova girrrrrl" in a voice that was oddly reminiscent of Jerome from Martin, and sadly I think it was his natural voice.
And this got me to thinking about all of the bad lines I've heard over the years from random guys. Some of my favorites include:
1. Where is your man at? Cause if I was your man, I'd never leave you alone." (Oddly a popular line--but frankly makes me think the guy is some kind of needy stalker).
2. So round, so brown, so fine. (Umm, yeah, you lost me at so round. WTF?)
3. Smile for me. Don't look so mean. (Maybe I'm having a bad friggin' day and don't feel like smiling!)
The bottom line is--can I get a simple "Hello, how are you?" Is that too much to ask?