Wednesday, March 12, 2008

LADIES GUESS WHAT? IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR MAN TO CHEAT, GIVE HIM A REASON NOT TO STRAY

Ok, so a few moments ago I was reading the comments to my blog regarding cheating/Governor and I just had to blog my thoughts. Yes, some of you had an issue with my stats. Of course, I was exaggerating--99.9% of men aren't cheaters. However, I stand behind my assertion that most men cheat. But, hey, that's my opinion.

Regarding Anonymous' comment, I utterly disagree with the notion that a woman can stop her man from cheating. women have been trying that ish for years and it doesn't work.
Do I agree that there are some men out there who cheat because their wives are withholding sex? I'm sure that happens. BUT, I'm also sick and tired of men manipulating women into thinking that it's somehow their fault if the man strays. There are many women out here who are willing to do anything and everything in the bedroom and are still cheated on. Why? Because no woman, not even Halle Berry, can stop a dog from sniffing around if that's what he wants to do. Believe me, I have stayed up late many nights with many of my friends who did all the right things but were still cheated on.
But, hey that's just my perspective. BTW, I am not some disgruntled single woman who can't find a man or one that hates men as Anonymous suggests. I love men especially black men BUT that doesn't change the fact that most, if given the opportunity will cheat. I'm married but wise enough to know that I can't stop my husband from cheating. I can kill him if I found out, but can't prevent him from doing it.

14 comments:

B_More BAP Life said...

"Do I agree that there are some men out there who cheat because their wives are withholding sex? I'm sure that happens. BUT, I'm also sick and tired of men manipulating women into thinking that it's somehow their fault if the man strays."

This is so right on! For so long people use this as an excuse....there is no excuse for infidelity!

TravelDiva said...

1. If men are so dissatisfied at home, then they need to leave, not cheat. To suggest that Spitzer was not satisfied by Ms. Spitzer, but considered divorce political suicide is a misunderstanding of politics. Was going to a prostitute better for his political career? Please.

2. I don't think most men cheat because of something missing at home. I think men cheat because they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want a stable home life, a wife that is there for them mentally, physically and sexually. At the same time, they have an appetite for diversity. So they cheat.

3. Stop blaming the victim! If someone cheats, blame the d*mn cheater! It's a cop out and a weak excuse to do otherwise.

4. Anonymous is a joker!

And I'm out!

Salesdiva said...

All I can say is DITTO. Ditto the post, ditto the comments. I am SOOO sick and tired of everyone blaming the woman for what she is or is not doing. Why don't we just blame the raggedy azz man for his lack of character, lack of integrity, lack of committment, lack of manhood...just plain weak azz for his "going straight to hell in a hand basket" self. Uggah. This debate is old and tired.

MAN UP!

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

honey please! women (a lot of times) have nothing to do with a cheating man. most of their cheating is a result of opportunity and greed. every woman worth her salt knows this. before i met my husband, i had a boyfriend whom i was very devoted to. i cooked and everything, and i was still a student! he had NO WANTS! yet he cheated, and with a cow at that! why, she was available and gave him money freely.

soooooo, at the end of the day, sometimes it has nothing to do with the woman. what bothers me is that if you are so unhappy, why not bounce? why go thru the trouble of sneaking and lying, cheating and carrying on? everything done in the dark always comes to light....might be years later, but i am a firm believer in this. and not to be crass, i've heard from the mouth of men...that nothing's better than vajayjay....than some new vajayjay. so anonymous has some eloquent commenting going on, but it wasn't realistic....

12kyle said...

Interesting!

I think cheating is about situations. If you wanna stay faithful, then you have to keep yourself out of certain situations. As men, we can see those situations before they even develop.

Also, SOME men...not all men...are gonna be as faithful as their options. The more options that you have the less likely is to be faithful. If I were famous like LeBron James, would I be faithful to my ole lady...prolly not when you consider that I'm having it THROWN at me 24/7 by hundreds of women. On the other hand, 12kyle might have 3 women digging him like that. Less numbers...less likely that something will happen.

I don't think that cheating is about something that the other person is not doing. It's about the cheaters greed. I know men and women who have mates that do everything that you can ask of a person...and they've cheated on them. That's just greed and being selfish

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

ITS TRUE,ABOUT NOT STOPPING THEM, BUT ONLI A LITTLE PERCENTAGE OF MEN CHEAT...I DUNT GET IT

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

ITS TRUE,ABOUT NOT STOPPING THEM, BUT ONLI A LITTLE PERCENTAGE OF MEN CHEAT...I DUNT GET IT

Nadja said...

I think they cheat out of these following reasons:
1.Stupidity (Super drunk, high, whatev)
2.Wanting to feel powerful.
3.Someone stroked their ego.
4.Depression
5.Poor-me syndrome

I don't know how much of the population I honestly trust to stay faithful because people just do not have morals anymore.

TravelDiva said...

Great comments!

F.U. said...

Everybody cheats! The only person you can control is yourself. You can't stop anybody from doing anything they don't want to do. We weren't built to be monogamous in the first place. The issue comes when people get caught. If you need to handle your business on the side, just make sure you handle your business at home and don't be sloppy with yours. Physical cheating and emotional cheating are two different things and women, unfortunately, are just so damn emotional.

Of course it would make more sense for people to not be married and to not be in 'committed' relationships when they know damn well they plan to do everything they were doing while they were single but people do it and it was it is. You can analyze this all day and it will never make sense and there will never be a real answer for it.

You do you, take care of home, and if your man/woman cheats trust and believe he/she will do it again…so stay if you want or keep it movin and let the tears dry on their own.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

We so can not stop our men from cheating. If they are prone to cheat then nothing you can do will prevent that.

Eb the Celeb said...

i totally agree with everything you said here... especially the I can kill him part if I find out...
I can definitely see myself cutting a man... dont know if I could kill him, but I would sure shank him a bit...

I know you were not speaking literally anyway when you said kill him (at least i hope..lol)

But just wanted to say my little peace... We definitely cannot do anything to stop a man from cheating... its a choice a man makes without us.

And by chance she is withholding the sex, do you think you cheating is going to help that get better. I dont understand a man's logic. Talk to your significant other, let them know the problems your having with the lack of sex.

Demon Hunter said...

"I can kill him if I found out, but can't prevent him from doing it."

ROFLMAO!! Too funny and true. I hear ya girl. :*)

KreativeMix said...

its not even worth killing him. sitting in prison over some fool's indiscretion.........nope. just leave him. and i agree that no woman can stop her man from cheating. you can't control anyone but yourself. and yes, i do realize that i'm very late on this one :-)