Ummmm, What?

Oh Fanny, why doest thou plague me so? Why?????????????

Hmmm, a little too Farnsworthy for my taste....The shorts are a bit fitting...

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Joker of the Week Nods

It appears that Michelle Malkin will edge out the security guard and the L.A. Lakers and take the Joker of the Week crown for last week. But who pray tell will dethrone nutty Malkin to take the crown this week? I don't know....So many contenders, so little time.

Ralph Nader - For saying of Barack Obama recently, "There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American. Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards." He went on to say, "I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas, and have a very detailed platform about how the poor is going to be defended by the law, is going to be protected by the law, and is going to be liberated by the law. Haven't heard a thing." Wow. Nader's comments are so unbelievably patronizing, insulting and based on such generalizations that I don't know where to begin. Obama is talking white because he's articulate? Because he's running a national campaign and has to appeal to all voters? All black people are poor? All black politicians have an obligation to speak exactly the same? Nader is irrelevant and ridiculous at this point.

Maria Sharapova - For losing in the second round of Wimbeldon to a player ranked 154th in the world and then for being insulted by the player after she lost. After beating Sharapova, Alla Kudryavtseva said, "I don't like her outfit. It's a little too much of everything. ... It was one of the motivations to beat her." HAAAA!

Keyshia Cole, Her Mama and Her Sister - For Coles' craptastic BET Awards performance, her mother's general demeanor, and her sister's ill-fitting dress.

Shaq - For being stripped of his sheriff's badge after insulting Kobe in a freestyle rhyme. Shaq rapped - "You know how I be, Last week Kobe couldn't do without me...I'm a horse,Kobe ratted me out, That's why I'm getting divorced." Now, the basketball jab was funny, but I hardly think Kobe is the reason Shaq is getting divorced. Try fidelity Shaq.

Don Imus - See previous post.

Honorable Mentions:

Kanye West - For his rant against the Bonnaroo folks. He's the king alright--the king of hyperbole. He said, "This Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been ... this is the maddest I ever will be." Geez, didn't he say the same thing about the MTV video awards last year when they had him performing in the suites instead of on the main stage. I mean, "Stronger" was made for stadiums people. STADIUMS!!!!!!

Rick Ross's belly - No explanation needed.

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Random Thoughts On The BET Awards

THOUGHTS

• Highlight - Al Green's performance and the audience enjoying Al Green. It looked like a real party and that was one moment I really wanted to be there and sing, "Why do people break up, turn around and make up? I just can't seeeee."

• Lowlight - Rick Ross's belly. Any euphoria that I had from seeing a fit and still sexy LL evaporated on seeing Ross's dancing tattooed belly through his open velour jacket.

• Highlight - A Keys bringing out SWV, En Vogue and TLC. Even some of the missed notes didn't tamp down my excitement.

• Lowlight - Keyshia Cole's performance and her sister's boobs about to pop out of her dress--leftie was making a real run for the border.

• Highlight - Marvin Sapp's performance.

• Lowlight - D.L. Hughley calling him "Warren" Sapp. HAAAAAAAAAAAA!

• Highlight - The rain special effects during Chris Brown's performance and the plastered smile on Rihanna's face while Ciara was puttin' it on her man.

• Lowlight - Seeing lil' Chrissy Brown's pelvic thrusts on the floor. He's trying so hard to be a man.

• Highlight - Usher's choreography

• Lowlight - Usher. I don't know, he just was not as hot looking as he used to be and there was something tired about him.

• Highlight - Niecy Nash's adopting white children bit.

QUESTIONS

Why was Lisa Lisa there? Head to Toe was 20 years ago!

Why would anybody give Diddy vodka and a microphone? He was running all around the after party!

Why must Kanye insert how great he is into everything? Even when he was complimenting T-Pain, he said, he was one of the kings of the game and his opinion matters. Isn't he like a child standing on a chair saying, "I'm a big boy. I demand you to listen to me. Tell me how great I am. Please....."?

Didn't Tyrese look underwhelmed by T-Pain when the camera cut to him during the performance?

T-Pain and a circus makes perfect sense doesn't it?

Didn't Ludacris look fresh and clean when he came through for "I'm so hood"?

Why is Cuba Gooding, Jr. so corny?

Don't all musical tributes on BET pale in comparison to when Yolanda Adams, Prince, Stevie Wonder and India Arie did a tribute to Chaka Khan?

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Don Imus - Early Contender?

Fellow blogger Lily alerted me to this new story on shock jock Don Imus. Apparently, when discussing a Dallas Cowboy who was recently arrested, Imus had the following dialogue:

Warner Wolf: "He's been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005,"

Imus: "What color is he?"

Wolf: "He's African-American,"

Imus: "Well, there you go. Now we know."

Imus said he was defending African Americans because they get arrested in disproportionate numbers. Now without seeing the transcript I can't say, but given his past history, his excuse is suspect...

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Joker of the Week Nods

Congrats to the Oil industry, Energy execs and George Bush for narrowly edging out the R. Kelly Jury to win Joker of the Week. Who will take this week's crown? Hmmmm....

Michelle Malkin - I'm a week late on this nomination, but I still feel it is warranted. The same Fox news contributor who went after Rachael Ray for wearing a "terrorist" scarf in a Dunkin Donuts' ad a few weeks ago, had the audacity to refer to Michelle Obama as Barack Obama's "baby mama" on Fox News. Are you kidding me? Whether it was in jest or an attempt to be cool, it is wholly inappropriate. I have never heard any other presidential candidate's wife relegated to baby mama status. Boo to Malkin! BOO!

Mark Wahlberg and the cast of the Ocean's movies - Wahlberg recently said he was glad he turned down the role played by Matt Damon in the Ocean's Eleven series. Wahlberg said, "It was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it's great, but we all know it sucked. I made two bad movies instead - 'Planet of the Apes" and 'The Truth About Charlie' - but doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is: 'We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine..." This is a dual nomination. Wahlberg deserves a nod because the comments were kind of unnecessary; and the cast deserves an award because Wahlberg is actually right, especially about Ocean's Twelve.

The Los Angeles Lakers - It seems wrong to nominate this team when they have already had such a horrible week. Nevertheless, it has to be done because they lost by 5 million points.

The security guard at my mother's office building - The guard is from Ghana and is married. He has a wife and two kids back in Ghana. Yet he continues to try and holla at my mom. His last move was to offer to buy her fig newtons at the convenient store. My mother had to explain to him that he was disrespecting himself, his wife and her by trying to begin a relationship.

Ummmm, What?

In this getup, doesn't Vogue fashion guru Andre Leon Talley look like Punjab from Annie circa 1982???

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Congrats to Paul Pierce And The Celtics

Paul and crew trounced and I do mean trounced the Los Angeles Lakers last night. I'm not a huge Kobe fan and thus was rooting for the Celtics. However, even I was embarrassed for the Lakers last night. Nearing the end of the 3rd quarter, I just wanted the game to be over.

Side bar--Could Kevin Garnett be any more of a drama queen? I know he was excited but did he have to basically pass out?

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Obama Calls Out Absent Black Fathers On Father's Day

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama called out black men for abandoning their familial responsibilities at a predominantly African American church on Father's Day this Sunday. He said, too many black men are "missing from too many lives and too many homes....They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it." He then called on them to step up to the plate essentially.

Discuss

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Joker Of The Week Nods

The R. Kelly Jury - They acquitted him? Seriously?? I guess there may have been reasonable doubt, but dang!

Solange Knowles - Per Fresh and Fab's recommendation, for coming out of the house with "ashy eyebrows."

John McCain - For saying it was not important WHEN the troops come home from Iraq. Well, John, it is for those with family members and friends over there. And it is also important to taxpayers paying $12 billion/month in Iraq!!

Oil/Energy industry/George W. Bush - Because gas prices hit an all time high every single day, and every time I pass a gas price sign I say, "D*mn Bush."

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U Got The Look!

I've been tagged by the Pretty Circle Drawer. Hay Caramba!

MEME Rules:

1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

• IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Day Dreaming - Mary J. Blige (The Tour album)

• WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? We will be the ones - Virtue ( A tribute to Rosa Parks). That's interesting.

• WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Butterfly - Mariah Carey

• HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Your Name is Jesus. Fred Hammond. (Now that's accurate as all get out. I am on full gospel mode today and am relying on the encouragement).

• WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? It's Praying Time - Dorothy Norwood (Shake the Devil Off cd). HAA. Again--my mood today.

• WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? I should have cheated - Keyshia Cole. LMBAO.

• WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? I go to the Rock - Whitney Houston (Preacher's Wife). Man, the gospel songs are coming out like crazy.

• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Say u Will - Brandy (Afrodisiac)

• WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? I can't wait - Akon. I plead the 5th.

• WHAT IS 2+2? This is why I'm hot (reggae mix) - Mims.

• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? On the couch - Prince (ummm, negative).

• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Give me the reason - Luther Vandross. Interesting....

• WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Someone in the Dark - Michael Jackson (Thriller).

• WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Gangsta Lovin' - Eve and A. Keys. HAAAA!

• WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Again and Again - Mya (Fear of Flying).

• WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Migrate - Mariah Carey

• WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Get up and Praise - Kelly Price (this is who I am). HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I LOVE IT.

• WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Do your thang - Xscape (Off the Hook)

• WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? More than a melody - Yolanda Adams.

• WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Running Away - Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Dale Caliente - Daddy Yankee

• WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? U Got the Look - Prince. LOL.

I'm tagging:

Nadja

Smarty Jones

Kreativemix

Fresh and Fab

Park Avenue

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Ummmm, What?

Did she forget to rub the sunblock all the way in on her face? That's the only explanation I can think of for the eyebrows. Or is it foundation? I'm confused. In any event, there's no call for it. She's got money, a stylist and a mirror.

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Where's Boog-a-loo?

I have lived in the Washington Metropolitan area for most of my life, except during law school. So I am used to panhandlers AKA bums. Sometimes I give, but most of the time, I keep it moving. Now I work right near the Verizon Center and with Chinatown now a booming area of activity, there has been a rise in panhandling. Every time I step out for lunch, I'm asked for change or asked about other things...

Last week a gentleman came up and asked me, "Where's Boog-a-loo?" I just kept it moving, although my male colleague said I should have responded, "Boog-a-loo is in your mouth." LMAO.

The week before last, a guy asked me if I had 35 cents. When I shook my head, he said, "Well, do you have a boyfriend?" And you know that joker was serious? I said yes. Said clown did not appear to have any mental problems, so that could not be an excuse. But he actually tried to holla at me after he had just asked me for 35 cents. Whaaaaa? That takes some serious nerve. Note: If you want to ask a woman out, don't ask her to bum change first, joker.

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Joker of the WEEK

Congrats to Liz Trotta for edging out a win over Sharon Stone to claim the Joker of the Week prize for last week. Her wish that someone assassinate Senator Barack Obama ticked off a lot of folks....

This week, there will be no vote. I don't see how anyone could be a bigger joker than Senator Hillary Clinton. Not only did her sense of entitlement and arrogance prevent her from conceding her loss to Obama, but she also failed to praise him. I kept waiting for something in her speech on Tuesday--that never came. Instead, Ms. Ready on Day One explained why she was still the better candidate, said she had a lot to think about and asked people to write in and help her decide what to do. Then she had the audacity to have her surrogates (I'm glaring at you Bob Johnson) try to bully him into picking her as a VP. No doubt - Hills is a joker.

Feel free to comment or add anyone you think could have beat out the pantsuit this week!

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Random Question Of The Day: Top 5 Movies You Can Watch Over and Over and Over and Over

PCD with her recent movie trivia phase, got me interested in doing a movie-related post. I LOVE movies. I have loved them since I was a kid--I watched at the theaters, on super tv, on cable, on vhs, dvds, and now On demand. There is something about escaping into a story that appeals to me--whether it's a romantic comedy, a western, sci-fi or drama. I cannot pick a favorite movie--Es Imposible! But, I can at least list 5 movies, I can watch over and over and over again. No matter how many times I see these flicks, if I'm flipping through channels and come across them, I watch them.

1. Original Star Wars Trilogy (I know it's a trilogy, but you can't separate them out. Although I will say The Empire Strikes Back is my fav. :-).

2. House Party

3. Steel Magnolias

4. The Color Purple

5. Bend it Like Beckham

There are so many others (like Beverly Hills Cop, A Few Good Men, Friday, Dodgeball, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Beuller's Day Off, Speed), but these were the movies that immediately came to mind.

What 5 movies do you never tire of?

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From Slavery to the White House

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barack Obama has done it! I screamed so loudly during his victory speech last night that you would have thought I was actually in the arena in Minnesota. Words cannot describe how proud I am of Barack Obama and his accomplishments. I have followed this race, donated money repeatedly, and most importantly I began to believe that he could win during this campaign. The road ahead of us will be difficult and the fight will be hard, but last night was a great victory, and I honestly believe that Obama can beat John McCain. I watched McCain's speech last night--I didn't see change--I saw the same old politics and the same legacy of elderly Anglo Saxon men leading this country. I want real change! I want a better foreign policy that is not driven by arrogant bully tactics. I want an educational system that actually doesn't leave a child behind. I want a leader who knows more about the economy than I do. I want a leader who understands the complexity of race relations in America and civil rights issues. And dammit I want somebody that looks like me in a leadership role!

It is my hope and it is my dream that this family will take their next family photo on the White House lawn. Obama for life!

P.S. Hillary is a hater and a sore loser.

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Celebrity Crushes: Who's Yours?

The Rock is officially SINGLE! This does not mean that I can break up with my boyfriend and commence stalking, but it does mean that I can drool over him guilt free. LOL! Let the admiration commence!

Who's your celebrity crush?

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