Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Why Do We Really Hate Mrs. Raymond?
Not since Bobby and Whitney or Brit and K-Fed has the public really come against a celebrity marriage with this much passion. When pictures of Usher and Tameka first surfaced, all the news media said that Tameka wasn’t good enough for Usher. Some reports claimed that she was the “other woman” in the whole Usher and Chilli breakup, abandoned her three sons and divorced her husband for Usher, made him fire his mom, and even harassed Mama Raymond. Even Usher’s fan sites have come against the relationship. Many internet websites refer to her as Usher’s husband. Even my girls and I all commented that “damn, I had a chance with Usher, look at her, she’s old, not cute”. Years ago--pre 8701--no one would have cared who Usher ended up with. He was just a little boy who could dance and sing. BUT, something happened between “You make me wanna” and “You remind me”. Usher was working out and obviously eating his Wheaties because he really made me “wanna” with that 6 pack. So, because he so fine and he’s a multi-millionaire, I just assumed that I would have to look like a Victoria’s Secret model for him to wife me. I was wrong. I felt how Chris Rock did when he discovered that JD and Janet were dating. As CR said, “It’s like finding out that yesterday they were giving out Bentleys for a dollar.” Had I known that Usher was into non-celebrity women, I would have tried to get backstage during his last tour. Damn. Missed out on that chance.
However, I have been rethinking my feelings since reading the latest Essence. In the article, the new Mrs. Raymond said that we, as black women, should be ashamed of ourselves for hating on her so much. She believes that if she were Latina or Caucasian, a size 2 and under 30, we would believe that she was beautiful. So, in essence, when we see her, we see ourselves and believe that “brown sistas” aren’t good enough. When I first read this, I was upset. I thought, is Tameka correct? If she were Latina, would I still feel the same way? Am I engaging in self-hate?
Do I really believe that women 35-plus are less deserving of love? I was very concerned. As a lawyer, I am trained to thoroughly analyze and assess a situation. So, I thought that I would analyze why I, like many women, feel that Tameka isn’t up to par. So, here it goes.
First, Tameka is not cute. Sorry, Usher but she’s not. She looked presentable in the Essence magazine (however, the cover was hideous) but who wouldn’t if made up by a glam squad? And, for the record, I am a brown skinned sista so I have no prejudice against darker hues. Her complexion has nothing to do with my assessment. I would feel the same if she were Caucasian or Latina. Second, she’s old. Not, Halle Berry or Demi Moore old. Just regular old. She looks like his mama and not his wife. Chilli was also older and they looked perfect for each other. You know that saying, “Black don’t crack?” Well, there are always exceptions. Third, she’s built like a man. I suppose a nicer description would be “muscular”, but here on “CITC” we keeps it real. Fourth, in all of these pics we see of the newlyweds her kids are interestingly absent. Is she protecting their identity or has she simply chosen them over Usher? While, he has a nice body, he’s not worth it. No man is. Usher, heed this warning :If she’s not a good mama to her first three kids, she’s not going to magically become one to your kid. Is Tameka a Britney in the making? Fifth, she seems like she has an attitude. Never let them see you sweat, sweetie. Look, you’re with a successful, sexy, rich man, smile a little! A true diva would not allow others to bring her down. Sixth, she’s not in tune with her inner fabulosity. I mean, God. Supposedly, she’s a stylist. Now, she’s rich. Step it up a bit on the red carpet. Does she realize how many wanna be future baby mamas are waiting to take her place? And, seventh, last but certainly not least, I’M SIMPLY HATING. I’m younger than she is. I’m cuter than she is. I’m a good mother. I am in tune with my inner fabulosity. I wouldn’t have had him fire his mom. Usher’s mom would not have taken an ex parte out on me. Usher and I would have made a much cuter couple. And, I know that I could have learned those tricks that she’s obviously throwing down in the bedroom ( why else would be so enamored?) BUT, instead he chose her. I was just fine living in my fantasy world believing that Usher would never date someone who wasn’t a celebrity. Now, I realize that I actually had a chance. That’s a hard pill to swallow. So, Tameka, you have to understand how we women feel out here. We’re hurt. And Usher, don’t be so upset boo, we love you and that’s why we’re so angry. One last warning, I would wait to release your next CD until after you and Tameka are separated (which we all know is coming within the next 12 months). Otherwise, you’ll have to risk low record sales due to the public’s disgust over your marriage. I know that’s not fair but that’s life. And like TD always says, “BOO HOO for the millionaire!”